Chapter 17 -------- A Ray of Light in the Darkness
In the aftermath of Danielle’s family, there was a lot to discuss. We scrapped the plans of traveling across the country, but we hadn’t planned on staying either. The issue we still had with Sedona was that we hadn’t received the support we needed. Danielle was now more willing to reach out for help. Her renewed faith in me had reassured her that I wouldn’t act a fool. Danielle began to trust me again.
Despite my new strength, I still needed more help. The demands on myself were only getting more intense. Danielle needed more assistance with everything in her life. The showers, bathroom visits, and even walking required constant aid. Danielle still did not like having to depend on others, but a sense of humility had developed now. We reached out for help from the community. The response solved most of our problems.
Problems that were not related to her health were still major priorities. Sadly the visit from her family was not the end of their involvement. So much was left unresolved from her family’s visit. Danielle was still in communication with her sister after they left. A desire for peace and cooperation were all that Danielle wanted from her family.
The day after her family left, Danielle received a call from her sister complaining about their visit. Danielle explained that her sister was complaining that a friend didn’t introduce themselves when she stopped by specifically to help Danielle. There were ten new people in the house that day, which would have been overwhelming for anyone. However, her severe allergy to Andora was the main reason for a quick visit. The lack of consideration of others was clear. But that wasn’t all she had to complain about.
Her sister continued to complain that she was also upset that Danielle had asked her nephew at one point to leave the room. At the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal considering that Danielle wanted to talk with my family and me. I don’t even remember what we discussed, but it was still Danielle’s decision. To have her sister accost her for making that decision was equally as upsetting. Danielle couldn’t believe that her sister would call to upset her even further. It was mindboggling to me that her sister would react this way.
I did have at least some understanding to why she was reacting this way, but it still didn’t excuse the behavior. The whole family was upset that Danielle had decided not to make the trip across the country. The lack of understanding led to much emotional tension between her family. Everyone was emotionally compromised and showed it. I had similar problems that I ultimately fixed. Their behavior continued without fail.
Since Danielle had lost all faith in her family, she removed them immediately from the will. The discussion about leaving the house to them was not finalized, but now it never would be. Danielle also based her decision off of a statement made the last night we all went to the hospital. She found out from her nieces and nephews that their mom and grandmother were discussing excluding her brother from the will.
Excluding her brother would have made it far easier for them to sell the house after Danielle passed. Danielle couldn’t believe the further lies and deceit. Considering that Danielle did not want the house sold were she to pass, this was heartbreaking. On top of that, she hadn’t heard from the girl she was first going to leave the house to, not a word. This was someone who was supposed to be a daughter to her but for some reason hadn’t reached out. Who could Danielle leave her house to, who would also honor her wishes?
Danielle decided to reach out to the friend who helped us financially. The first thing Danielle shared was how bad the experience ended with her family. She was disgusted by their behavior and also explained the issue we were having with the house. Danielle wished for her legacy to live on and needed someone to take the mantle. In her panic, she laid down a list of desires that would have scared most people. I felt that Danielle was expecting too much from her friend.
First off, her friend was having a seriously hard time talking about Danielle passing. I could tell at the hospital that it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to be present as Danielle made a choice to stop treatment. She even offered to pay for a trip to Europe if Danielle felt that there was a chance. Obviously, if we couldn’t make it across the country, Europe was out of the question.
Danielle was also going to be the third close person in her friend’s life that was going to pass. Danielle would constantly share with me the struggles her friend had with sudden losses. Danielle had been someone who had helped her through those losses, and now she would lose her too. I completely sympathized because it is always hard to lose someone who is such an important part of your life.
Danielle was a very important person in her friend’s lives and someone who was a huge asset for emotional support. For years Danielle had been an honest friend because she was true to herself. Most of all, she never used her friend because of her incredible wealth. Danielle lived a modest lifestyle that she took pride in creating and supporting herself. This trait was one reason that Danielle had become such a trusted confidant.
Danielle and I would discuss the issues that come with being very wealthy. I had watched wealthy people get taken advantage of because someone is trying to get an easy ride. So often people make huge promises, and when the check comes due, they are unable to settle-up. Few people I find are willing to do the work it takes to be successful, and when people are playing with other people’s money, they are even less inclined to put in the extra work. Too many people want the free ride, and often at someone else’s expense.
We watched as one person tried to take advantage of her kindness by possibly using Danielle to make it happen. Although we never allowed the meeting to take place, the intentions were clear. People are willing to do crazy actions for personal gain. I have a problem when it is at someone else’s expense.
It was appalling how people will mistreat someone to take advantage of their money, and Danielle had dozens of stories of this happening to her friend. So when Danielle was approaching her with giving her the house, so that she could fix it up and turn it into a dance school for little girls. Danielle wanted her friend to foot the whole bill. It had Danielle all lit up, and I could tell this was her goal if money weren’t an issue. It would have taken me years to save up enough to have the house outfitted and ready to be a full-time dance school. I wish I had the means, but I didn’t have that, or the experience needed to make it work on my own.
It was the following day that the full reaction to the circumstances came full circle. I was really worried that Danielle was overstepping her wishes and putting obligations on someone, that couldn’t handle the situation. I was entirely correct about this intuition, but I never realized how it might have turned out. The reaction to Danielle’s wishes was unexpected.
I knew the weight of Danielle taking a turn for the worse was not going over well with Danielle’s friend. I could see it in the frustration she had to get Danielle to pursue additional treatment options. She couldn’t accept that Danielle was going into Hospice and would be passing at some point. I could hear the desperation in her pleas to convince Danielle not to give up.
Incredible stress leads people to do things that we wouldn’t imagine doing under normal circumstances. This woman had been such a friend to Danielle throughout the entire healing process. She was our financial security and the one who said that she would be there for Danielle to support her in anything she needed. It gave us a sense of security to have that support, especially since I couldn’t work while caring for Danielle anymore. Danielle and I depended on that support.
Danielle’s dying wish of having her house turned into a dance studio, didn’t come back with the reception that Danielle was expecting. To my surprise, Danielle handled the conversation with such grace and ease, even though I could tell she was devastated and hurt by the conversation. The hardest part Danielle had to face was that her friend was unable to be with her through the dying process.
The way it came across was probably not the way it was supposed to be received. However, that didn’t change how Danielle felt. Danielle felt that her friend would only continue to be part of her life if she was continuing treatment. On top of that, she made Danielle feel bad about the treatments that she wouldn’t continue to take. I found this to be a low blow even from my point of view.
The reason that we had purchased the extra curcumin treatments was that it was on the possible FDA ban list. Our Naturopathic Doctor informed us that it could be made unavailable at any time, considering the improvement we saw right away we didn’t want to be left without a successful treatment option. The friend who paid for all the treatments agreed to purchase the maximum amount. Danielle had used most of it, but there was about nine hun